Monday, March 28, 2011

disturber of my rest

It's Sunday night; I've closed my book and turned out the light. My mind wanders to the coming week, and then into the fuzzy state of almost-asleep.

It's at that moment the scratching begins.

My heart does a flying leap up to a position around my throat. The scratching sounds are pretty much directly over our bed, somewhere just behind the thin ceiling. I'm pretty sure it's the same creature that's been rustling around in the attic over the computer room for the past couple of days, with an intent to make me nervous. It's working. Mark is sound asleep, and doesn't even notice, but I'm most definitely nervous. It sounds so close, I pull the blanket a little tighter around me just in case whatever it is scratches its way right through.

Then the scratching stops. All is quiet. My heart settles back down in the cavity where it belongs, and I begin to relax. I'm all but asleep when the scratching and scrabbling resumes. I don't think I can take too much more of this nightlife. My whole body tenses up, listening, waiting, poised to meet a sudden invasion. Instead all is quiet again, and again I begin to relax, drifting slowly into the rest I'm so ready for.

But it's not to be. As if on schedule, the scratching erupts; this time loudly enough to rouse Mark. He sits up to listen, then sinks back to the pillow; back to the blissful oblivion of sleep. Not I. This is just about enough excitement for one night. I grab my pillow and evacuate to the living room couch. As I curl up under a blanket, our cat stares in at me with round yellow eyes through the front window, mewing softly in welcome. The irony hits me as I wonder what one good reason she has for not being up there in the attic chasing out the late-night intruder and the Disturber of My Rest.

As I shift to find a comfortable position, I find myself thinking of the other things that disturb my rest. Not my night-time sleep, but my soul's rest.

Truly my soul finds rest in God;
my salvation comes from Him.
Truly He is my rock and my salvation;
He is my fortress, I will never be shaken.
Psalm 62:1 & 2

Fears. Tension. Worry. Doubt. Bitterness. Stress.
Just as I respond to this disturbance in my sleep, how often do I enact the same response to the events of the day? How often do I allow circumstances and my own personal desires to crowd out the rest and calm and peace found in the presence of God?

I know I'll be visiting the hardware store tomorrow for a solution to this disturbing critter. If only I could also buy a solution that would eliminate all those other things that rob me of rest, too.

But my heart knows that the solution is found only in Him. Only in abiding in His presence, taking His yoke upon me, being led of Him; there I'll find rest for my soul.

2 comments:

Rosalie said...

So good.

(This brought back a memory of a similar situation. Had to laugh. . . . not that it's funny or anything.)

{Ashleigh} said...

Your post really spoke to my heart. Thank-you.