ramphotyphlops braminus

So what do you do
when you find one of these
behind your living room couch?

Well, Michael agrees with the Yiddish Proverb:

"A snake deserves no pity."

Not even when it's no bigger than an earthworm.
This must be the world's smallest snake.

After executing justice,
Michael took the remains up to the office to ask some Filipino friends what kind of snake it was.
"Udto Udto" they said. And said to be so poisonous that if he bites you,
you won't last til lunch.

So we did a little research at home.
Love that Google.
And we found the above photos of the ramphotyphlops braminus,
identical to our invader,
a harmless blind snake species found mostly in Africa and Asia.
(Did you catch that, Grandma?!? Harmless!!)

Completely fossorial, (that's a Wikipedia word)
they are often mistaken for earthworms
(yep, we weren't sure until we saw it move)
except that they are not segmented.
(and they move a lot faster than a worm!)

"Even if a snake is not poisonous, it should pretend to be venomous."
-Chanakya

nice try.